


some gravity you ought not to play with

by sandyk



Category: Superstore (TV)
Genre: F/M, Season 4 AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-05-16 04:41:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19310830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandyk/pseuds/sandyk
Summary: Amy has a baby boy, Parker. And a boyfriend, Jonah. (A different season four.)





	some gravity you ought not to play with

**Author's Note:**

> For the trope bingo spot haunted house. Not mine. No profit garnered. Thanks a! Title from neko case's hell on.

Amy's second day back to work after Parker was born was only slightly less shitty than her first day back. Her third day she just called in sick. 

"Are you really sick?" Glen was still using that disgusting tone like he was hurt or something. 

"I don't know, Glenn, why don't you come over and watch me while I sit on the toilet? Would that work for you?" She nearly threw the phone. 

"Okay, okay," Glenn said. 

That gave her a week to actually be with her newborn and bond with him. She loved him to pieces but it was so much work and her whole body was just insane. Adam insisted on sleeping over to help her take care of Parker and get his chance to bond with the baby. Naturally, he then started saying how great it would be to stay over all the time or maybe move back in. 

"No, no, no," Amy said. She rubbed at her hair which was sticking up every which way. Adam being at the house hadn't actually given her time to shower. "Maybe tomorrow you sleep in your own place."

Parker whined because he was four days old and she handed him to Adam. "I'm getting a shower."

Then Jonah came over and Adam said, "Wait, so you two are dating?"

"Yes, God, of course we are," Amy said. She pulled her nursing tank down and let Parker feed. 

Jonah said, "Of course we are. Hey, Adam."

"Hey, Jonah," Adam said. "How long have you two been dating?"

"Pretty much since everyone got to watch us fuck," Amy said. 

"Okay," Adam said. He finally left. 

Jonah said, "Where's Emma?"

"Do you think she should be here? She's with my parents, which is basically the least they could do," Amy said.

"I was just wondering," Jonah said. He smiled and said, "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I interned as an assistant to a hairstylist?"

"No," Amy said. She already had her phone out and was trying to browse instagram. "Is intern a fancy way to say you were dating him?"

"No," Jonah said. "I was dating her son, that's how I got that job. The point is, I can wash hair. The way the pros do."

"I washed my hair today."

"I can do it in the morning," Jonah said. 

"Great," Amy said. "In the meantime can you, like, not talk about work? Or make me feel bad about calling in sick to work? Also maybe just clean? And not dump me for being a bitch?"

Jonah nodded and made his I'm a saint face. She kind of hated that face. He said, "I can clean."

Jonah was much better at home cleaning than work cleaning. She only sort of noticed. She was mostly wrapped up in Parker and all the pain of recovering from pushing a human out of her body. She finally fell asleep on the bed with Parker on his back next to her. When she woke up, Jonah was on the other side of the bed, and Parker was awake, of course, squinting at Jonah. He wasn't crying, though, or reaching for her. She sat up and said, "Jonah, I have to use the bathroom, make sure Parker doesn't fall off the bed."

Going to the bathroom was the same awful ordeal it had been since she had Parker. She didn't even bother putting on underwear and walked straight to the kitchen. She grabbed one of her frozen maxipads and put it in a pair of what she assumed was clean underwear she found in the bedroom. They were probably clean. She took off her nursing tank top and put another one. 

She first grabbed a pair of pants and got them past her ankle before she realized they were probably Jonah's. She found a pair of her maternity sweats and put those on. Then she went to look for her baby. And her boyfriend, she guessed. Mostly the baby. 

She found Jonah in the nursery and he held up Parker in his brand new diaper. She said, "Congrats, you can perform basic tasks."

"Up for that hair wash?"

"Fine. Can you do it while I nurse Parker?"

"Of course," Jonah said. 

It was actually really nice. Jonah did do a nice little head massage and it felt so good. Then he brushed her hair out and everything. She was in heaven. 

"I might apologize after this, it was so nice," Amy said.

"You don't need to apologize for anything," Jonah said.

"That's not true," Amy said. "But this is really hard."

"Yup," Jonah said. "I've been holding this hair thing in reserve for a while."

"Good plan," Amy said.

Xxx

She'd been back to work two days when Jonah started acting weird and secretive. He wasn't very good at being secretive, in fact he was very bad. She could barely think beyond Parker and she noticed he was hiding something. She decided to bring it up later. 

She thought about Parker constantly and she wanted to cry all the time. She still had waves and waves of emotion. It was so awesome. She managed to come off as normal, mostly. She only cried a little when Emma snapped at her about the mess in the house. Then Emma started crying because she was sorry to upset Amy. Just a great morning of parenting all around. 

When she wasn't thinking about Parker, she was thinking about the bill she'd gotten from the hospital. She could probably arrange a payment plan. She would have to arrange a payment plan. With what she could afford it would only be ten years or so. 

Amy stopped herself from showing the old people pictures of Parker. Then she found out they were Jonah's parents. Which was super funny. She was glad she hadn't showed them the pictures, Jonah was in a few of them. 

The funny part was that when she thought about it, she understood why Jonah wouldn't tell his parents about her. The job, possibly. But she was a single mother of two, just had a baby with her ex-husband, often super bitchy to him. He probably didn't want to explain all of that to them. 

But then he went to all the trouble of driving his father and mother to tears for her. Because she was upset with him, sort of. And they even went public in the store. He said, "So I'll come by and see you in the morning, right? I don't think you want to come to this dinner."

"I do not," she said. "I mostly want to go home and be with Parker, you know?"

"Isn't he with Adam tonight?"

"Well, at this point, that mostly means Adam comes over and I sleep a lot, as you know," Amy said. "We're not exactly at Parker has his own schedule separate from me stage."

"Well," Jonah said. "Except for right now, when you've been back to work."

"I don't want this," Amy said. She knew she sounded defensive. "I mean, I wish I wasn't working, I want to be home with Parker."

"I know," Jonah said. He leaned in and kissed her, held her softly. She loved his kisses. She would kiss him forever. She'd never told him that, but she was pretty sure it was implied. 

She kissed him back and waved goodbye as he went off to see his parents. 

Like most of the time when Adam "had custody" but Amy was present, Amy mostly did everything and Adam made noises about how much he loved having Parker and how great he was. 

Amy agreed, but it was so tiring, having a newborn. 

Adam left early in the morning, right before Jonah showed up. He looked a little worn down. She said, "What did your parents say?"

He sighed. He started cleaning automatically, like she'd trained him to do it. Maybe she had. Dina would be so proud. He finally said, "It was kind of horrible. Lots of we'll never trust you again, this is something we'd never expect of you, everyone's so disappointed. Because they told everyone. At least I had one thing to actually brag about."

"What's that? Did you start that podcast and not tell me?"

"No," he said. He sounded puzzled. "No, I meant dating you."

"I'm sure they were impressed by the single mom of two floor supervisor. Woo, woo." She sat down and started breastfeeding Parker. He was insatiable. She could really start to see what kind of person Parker was. He would be sweet and even-tempered like Adam. Such a good thing. 

Jonah said, "Well, we're dating and you're great and we've been together for a while now. That's a good thing."

"It's not three years and an engagement," Amy said. She didn't want to look up and see whatever face Jonah was making. She concentrated on Parker. "Sorry," she said. "Did I tell you I got the bill for the birth? It was a lot."

Xxx

Amy had pumped until she could pump no more and she deserved a night off. Is what she told herself as she and Jonah got in the car and headed off to Chicago. She brought her pump but she wasn't going to save any of it. Screw it, she was having a drink. She felt incredibly nervous about saying so to Jonah for no reason at all. He didn't judge. He never judged which was nuts. She let him drive the first half. Of course, they had to listen to one of his podcasts. She literally said, "No white guys talking about politics. Seriously. Not one."

"How about five African-Americans?"

"Are they talking about politics?"

"They are," he said. "Crooked Media is my jam."

"That somehow sounds so awful and I have no idea what you mean by it. Please don't explain it."

Jonah said, "I like funny ones, too. Ones about, uh, funny things."

"White guys again?"

"No," Jonah said. "How about, um, hey, there's one with two women analyzing movies from a feminist viewpoint. How about that? They're funny."

"Fine," Amy said. "Play that one."

It was actually funny which was surprising to Amy. But not really, Jonah was funny. He liked funny things. He thought Amy was funny, which she was. 

They'd listened to four in a row and Amy was driving so she switched to the radio. "I pick this one," Amy said. "Sorry, no NPR."

"I can live with that," Jonah said. 

Then some awful The Weeknd song made her think of Parker and she teared up a little. She wasn't going to see him for a full day. What kind of awful mother ditched her three week old baby? The kind of mother Amy was. She'd never done that to Emma. She'd gotten worse as a parent, not better. At least she and Adam had been together when Emma was a baby. She couldn't even do that for Parker, he was just passed around like a potato. She sniffled.

Jonah said, "You're not a bad mother."

"How do you even know that's what I was thinking? I wasn't. But you're a bad son, with all that lying," Amy said. "Sorry, that was mean."

"I actually know you, so I can guess what you're thinking, and it was how you're a bad mother. Which isn't hard, because you say it out loud all the time," Jonah said. "But I don't think you're a bad mother."

"Do you even think bad mothers exist?" Amy was scrambling to deflect. She had to stop doing that. This was Jonah. She was probably in love with him. She had to stop being so dead inside. Probably. 

"Of course bad mothers exist. Like, um, Susan Smith. Very bad," Jonah said. 

"Your idea of bad is the worst possible thing you could do," Amy said. "Anyway, sorry. I was missing Parker. Thank you for trying to make me feel better."

After the drinking and partying, Amy insisted they load up the car with all their goodies. "We don't want to lose anything."

"Never," Jonah said. "No losing our iPads."

Then Amy pumped and dumped and then she checked her phone and called Adam since he was up so she could Facetime with Parker even if Parker didn't really get it. Amy got it, that was what mattered. Adam asked if she was having fun, and she said, "Yeah, but I'm not leaving Parker again until he's six months old. I think."

She ran a bath and made Jonah get in it with her. She wasn't quite up for full on dick riding and even if she was, she never liked sex in water because who knew what was in that water you were getting shoved up there. But she loved Jonah's kisses and his warm wet fingers all over her and she definitely came this time. Jonah did not because that would be gross to have that in the water. So she sucked him off and then had a big gulp of the tiny little vodka bottle they got at the conference. 

"I hate vodka," she said. She had a tiny sip. "I need to brush my teeth."

"Same," Jonah said. 

It was funny being naked with Jonah, the two of them in the mirror with their toothbrushes. Jonah had a Quip - "I listen to a lot of podcasts," he said. She did not love the little alarm on that thing but she'd heard it a million times before. 

She barely dwelled on her stretch marks for once. She knew Jonah didn't really care. He certainly kept saying so. 

Then they got in bed and she fell asleep in his skinny arms. 

When they pulled up at Amy's home, she basically ran out of the car. "Parker, baby, Mom's home," she said. Adam opened the door and put Parker, who was screaming and crying, in her arms. 

Then he just kept walking. "Hey, Adam," Jonah said. 

"Hey," Adam said. "Time for me to go home."

Amy barely noticed, she just wanted to hold Parker for as long as she could. 

Xxx

Amy was definitely running out of money. She hadn't contributed to Emma's college fund since she found out she was pregnant. She was still paying off the bill from the hospital for giving birth to Parker. Adam was paying as much as he could, but that mostly meant Amy wasn't going to miss a mortgage payment and Emma would be eating three meals a day. She sighed. She looked again at her budget. She looked at Parker who was fitfully sleeping. At least he wasn't eating solids yet. She was definitely not weaning him any time soon. 

She was not up for any of this. 

"I am definitely going to need to be a manager," Amy said. Parker spat up. 

Jonah looked up from the couch. "You'll be a great manager."

"Thanks," Amy said. "I don't want to deal with any of this. You want to have sex?"

"Right, right now?" Jonah stood up and then sat back down. "Shouldn't we wait until Parker falls asleep? Cause that kind of freaks me out. And we're sure Emma's not coming home from Adam suddenly? That would absolutely freak me out."

"Oh, right, me, too," Amy said. "I'm sure he'll be asleep soon. Emma never comes back without warning after this summer."

Parker didn't fall asleep until much later and Jonah was already asleep. She laid on her back and stared at the ceiling. 

When Jonah woke up in his frequent three a.m. startle awake moment, she was still up. She said, "Hey, wanna have sex now?"

"Oh, oh, okay," he said.

"Okay," Amy said. "Cause I really do. Really really do."

"I do," Jonah said. "You're really turning me on."

"But get a condom," Amy said. 

"I'm so hard right now," he said. 

The whole thing was laughable in a good way. Jonah kept telling her jokes or teasing her and he took everything so slow so she was really good and ready and wanted it by the time he was pushing inside her. He pressed his head against her cheek, and his hair was sweaty. She loved the way he really only got messy with her. He was sweaty and he shifted her legs more open and stopped when she wanted him to. It was really good. Just wonderful. 

Also very messy. She had to change the sheets and then she went to the bathroom and enjoyed how painless it was at last. She got in bed and Jonah was already asleep. She smoothed his hair off his face and he smiled a little. 

Xxx

Amy invited Jonah over for Christmas. "I know it's not your holiday but you know, if you want to come over after Adam and Emma leave."

"So they don't see me or something?"

"They see you all the time, I was asking you then because maybe we could spend time together? The two of us?"

"Well, in that case," Jonah said. 

He came over and gave her a card. "I got you a sort of gift," he said. 

She opened it. It was a gift card to Target. "Ooh, groceries! Diapers! So many things!" She hugged him. "I didn't get you anything. I'm super poor. We barely got anything for Emma and Parker only got onesies, which I think were used. I think Emma's a little upset. She's trying to be positive and she plays with Parker now that he does a little more than poop and sleep. But anyway, I didn't get you anything. Sorry."

"Aww," Jonah said. "That's okay, I don't celebrate Christmas."

"I didn't get you anything for Hanukkah," Amy said. "When I'm a manager, I'll make this work better."

"Don't worry about it," Jonah said. "Seriously."

They made out on the couch until Parker woke up, crying. "Guess who's loving his eighth week of life?" Amy sighed. "He's so cranky right now."

"Teething? Isn't it early for that?"

"Sure," Amy said. "But Emma started teething at four months and apparently early teething is genetic or something. Maybe he's teething? Maybe he's just sick of this music." She frowned and tried to get Parker to take a boob, which he wouldn't. "Come on, kiddo."

That was another ten minutes of her life neglecting her boyfriend while trying to be a halfway decent mother. She wished she had more money and more time. 

"Tomorrow I'm asking Glenn to write me that recommendation so I can be a manager," Amy said.

"You're not working tomorrow," Jonah said. He turned on the TV. "Maybe wait until after New Year's. You can make it another week."

"Yeah, but I'm not dropping this. I can do it."

"I don't think you're going to drop it," Jonah said. 

"Did you put this gift card on your credit card?" She switched Parker to the other breast.

"Yup," Jonah said. "My parents sent me a bunch of money for Hanukkah, actually. More than's on that gift card."

"What did you do with the rest of the money? Did you buy equipment for your podcast?" 

"No," Jonah said. "I don't want to start a podcast. I'm much more of a listener. I take action, inspired by leaders."

"That's so hot," she said. 

Xxx

Amy had gone over to Jonah's apartment, with Parker and a whole bag of stuff so she could stay the night. With Parker. It was a dumb idea, but she still basically had Parker every single night since she was breastfeeding. Also she hated spending a single night away from Parker because he was only ten weeks old and she never ever wanted to be away from him even though she did that every single day at work. She sighed. Jonah was pacing. Parker was whining. "Since you're already pacing, can you take Parker and I'll set up his crib." 

Jonah took Parker and started pacing again. "I never really thought about my student loans. Why didn't I think about my student loans?"

"Well, you have been living a lie to your parents for years, clearly you have amazing powers of denial," Amy said. Jonah had a studio apartment so she was basically setting up this crib in his living room. She kind of wished he had a bigger place but apparently he had no money to do so with. 

"That's so true," Jonah said. He was expertly rocking Parker. He did spend a lot of time with Jonah by default. Default of Amy spending lots of time of Jonah. 

"Well, I'll just have to, I don't know. Maybe I could ask my parents for money?"

"They gave you money for Hanukkah, right?" Amy had managed to put together the crib. She pushed at it and poked it to make sure it wouldn't collapse with Parker in it. 

"Yeah," Jonah said. He walked over with Parker in his arms. "You don't have to put him in there, he can be on the bed."

"I know," Amy said. She sat back on the floor. "I like to pretend it would just be us in the bed. Which isn't what's going to happen."

"It's okay," Jonah said.

"Why is it okay? Why are you putting up with all of this? I'm a shitty girlfriend," Amy said.

"No, you're not," Jonah said. "I mean, sure, it's hard now, but it will definitely get better."

Amy smiled up at him. "I have no idea why you believe that."

"Yeah, me, neither," Jonah said. Parker stirred and Jonah handed him down. 

Parker immediately got on the boob, and Amy realized she was going to be stuck on the floor. Jonah sat down next to her. "So," Jonah said. "Why are we spending the night at my place again?"

"Because I felt bad we always spend time at my place," Amy said. 

"It's not so bad," Jonah said. "Maybe I'll get some floor pillows or something."

"Much better than spending money on your loans or something," Amy said. 

Jonah smiled and leaned his head on her shoulder. "I actually think it's a good night. I like this."

XXX

Amy meant to check everything seven times as ridiculous as it sounded but she was honestly just so tired. Parker sort of slept through the night but she was still breastfeeding and she was on call every other moment and she was never going to lose the weight and she couldn't afford anything in any way and she was pretty sure she was taking micro naps. Constantly falling asleep.

She immediately confessed to Glenn because she was just screwed. And she wanted a nap. First she went to the pumping room right after Sayid left. She was crying and pumping, it was a great day. 

Glenn took it all very well. He managed to get the order reversed and he very awkwardly pointed out that it looked like Amy's bra hadn't been reattached after she pumped. Amy went back to the pumping room to just sit. Dina came in and said, "You know, you could always pump in the security room with me."

"I like the closet," Amy said. "I guess Glenn has more things for me to do."

"Maybe," Dina said. "You don't have to do it, whatever idiocy that nincompoop comes out of his mouth."

"I'm just really tired. Babies are draining."

"I wouldn't know," Dina said. "I've completely recovered and I never cry."

Amy smiled at her. Dina said, "I only cry occasionally. It should go away once I stop pumping."

"Maybe I should stop breastfeeding. It's been a few months. Three should be enough."

"Won't you feel guilty? You seem to always feel guilty," Dina said. "Is it keeping the baby? I never thought that was a good idea."

"Thanks, Dina, I know. Newborns are tiring. They need you so much. And I'm still working. I just have to make it work somehow. I can do that. I did it when I was nineteen," she said. 

"You were so much younger and stronger then," Dina said. "So so much younger."

"Thanks again," Amy said. She got up and smiled. "Back to work. Cause then I get to go home to my baby."

XXX

Amy snuggled up with Parker right up until she had to leave to drive herself and Cheyenne to the Cloud 9 Academy. She checked three times to make sure she'd brought her pumping apparatuses. Six months, she was going to make it six months. For now she could do it.

At the end of the class, after they all passed, they got the offer to go out for drinks. Amy smiled and said she could do it. She lasted about forty five minutes. Cheyenne waved her off because she was sure she could get a ride. Amy got home and took Parker from Adam. Adam said, "I could stay if you want." 

Amy said, "I'm good." Adam kept hanging around. Amy said, "What?"

"Do you need some money? I was just looking in the fridge here and you know."

Amy sighed. "Of course I need money, but so do you. I'm good, seriously. Maybe I can be a manager and then I'll definitely make more. Where were you gonna get money?"

"Ask my parents," Adam said. "Well, just so you know. If you need me to."

"I don't," Amy said. "But thank you. I do appreciate the offer." She got on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. Naturally it was right when Jonah came in. 

Adam said, "Heading out now," and left.

Jonah nodded. He sat down on the couch and said, "Where's Emma?"

"Oh my God, where is Emma?" Amy laughed and rocked Parker a little. "She's at my parents. It's a hundred times easier for her to study and be a teenager without a three month old around."

Jonah said, "How was the class? Did you learn a lot? Did they tell you how to turn one full time person into two part timers?"

"You're not going to ask about the kiss?" She sat down next to him. Parker was already asleep.

"You mean the casual platonic kiss on the cheek? Should I care about that?" Jonah took Parker from her and went into the bedroom with him. He came back with the baby monitor. "Hey, guess what?"

"You had a great day with me and Cheyenne gone and everything ran smoothly?" She pulled him down next to her. "Please don't tell me otherwise."

"Well, I won't even though that's not true at all," Jonah said. "But! I asked my parents for money. And they gave me some, in a way."

"In a way?" She snuggled into him. He was so adorable. 

"They're going to pay some bills and I get an allowance," Jonah said. He smirked a little. "In exchange I have to promise that I'll visit them twice a year and go with them on medical school campus tours."

"Ugh," Amy said. "But you're doing it. Can you get through that?"

"I will grin and bear it," Jonah said. "It means I can take us grocery shopping this weekend, and we can get the name brands."

"Oh my God, I'm so turned on. Can you name those brands? Just say Tillamook cheese. Tillamook," she said. She snuggled closer and kissed his neck. "Do you have enough money to get Emma a new pair of shoes? Sorry, that sucks, but she really needs a pair. There's this pair on Amazon that she really wants."

Jonah said, "I'll see." 

XXX

Amy woke up at three am, and looked at Parker sleeping. She had made a plan with Dina. But Parker was so fast asleep. He looked so peaceful. She wanted to be competitive and she wanted to make Bel Ridge pay but also Parker was asleep. He was finally asleep. She could actually just stare at him for hours except she was so tired. She texted Dina and apologized. 

 

She tweaked the little swaddle thing Parker was in. Adam had turned up with a whole box of new clothes for Parker a few weeks ago. Apparently they were all used but they looked really nice. At least they were all clean and had no holes. She made a few more steps standing next to the bed to contribute to the steps challenge for Ozark Highlands. 

Parker made a soft little sound. She leaned over him and lightly rubbed his perfect cheek. "Hey, guy, stay asleep. No moving." She did her fast walk to Emma's room and peeked in a little. Emma was also sleeping peacefully.

Luckily Dina did the vandalism for her. 

Xxx

Amy picked up the car seat Parker was in and brought him inside the daycare center. She pretty much hated this. She was going to have to pay more than she'd been paying her parents, she'd had to wean Parker so he could be in this place and now here she was dropping him off. She faked a smile as the attendant came over to get Parker. The lead teacher lady waved her over and Amy kept the smile plastered on. There was no way anything wrong with the payment, they'd already withdrawn the first month. 

"Can you check the people who are allowed to take Peter home?" The lady held out a list. 

"Parker," Amy said. "His name is Parker. And yeah, me, my parents, Adam. That's right."

"What about the guy in the car?" The lady gestured out at the parking lot. 

"Jonah?" Amy really didn't want to add him. Did that mean Adam could add any chick he started dating? Except Jonah was hardly a casual chick. He was something full grown and boyfriend like. "Um, sure. Does he have to come in?"

"Yes," the lady said. 

So Jonah was on the list. He looked a little flustered. She said, "Do you mind?"

"I don't mind, it makes sense. If I get off work before you I can pick him up. Or if there's an emergency," Jonah said. "I tend to think of myself more as the boyfriend and not, like, any kind of parent person."

"You're not a parent person," Amy said. "You are not a parent at all."

"I know," Jonah said. "Maybe don't be so insistent."

"No, no, it's not like that. I just mean, you know. I'm the parent," Amy said.

"You never feel like you're an adequate parent, but you really are," Jonah said. 

Amy reached over and squeezed his knee. "I could also be less of a bitch to you."

"It's okay," Jonah said. "I know I say that a lot. But I mean it."

It was already snowing hard. Then it got worse. 

After Glenn forced the body pillow between them and walked away, Amy threw it off and got closer to Jonah. She said, "I used the landline to call Adam, he picked up Parker early so they're good. And Emma. Everybody's good."

"That's good," Jonah said. He hugged her close. 

They were playing mini golf when a customer came in. Amy yelled at Glenn that she was leaving and grabbed Jonah's hand. "Babies babies," she said. "Gonna go see my babies."

"I think Emma would be offended if she knew you were calling her a baby," Jonah said, laughing. 

He drove her straight home and parked carefully while she got out. "Wait, do we have to go to Adam's?"

"Nope," she said. "I texted him. He's bringing Parker back over here." She stretched out her arms in the living room. "I'm going to shower, can you hang out until I'm out?"

"Or longer? I also need a shower," he said. 

"Okay, you can come in, but we're actually showering, no sexy stuff." 

There was a little sexy stuff. And by the time they got out, Adam was in the living room with the baby and Emma. Amy was very glad she'd insisted they get dressed in clean clothes. 

Xxx

She'd foolishly made big plans sort of for Valentine's Day. Emma had her second date ever, maybe unless she'd lied to Amy which maybe she had. Amy had definitely lied to her parents about who she'd dated and when. But Emma swore it was only her second date and it was a group date so it should be okay. Theoretically. Adam was taking care of Parker and he'd be available if Emma needed to call. If something went wrong. Things went wrong on dates. Especially with fifteen year old boys. 

But Amy was putting her worry aside and her bone deep need for Parker with her always and focusing on her probable hot night with Jonah. 

She was trying to. She already hated not seeing Parker every single day. 

Maybe when she got money or things were easier, she'd have another baby. A planned baby for the first time in her life. With Jonah. He'd be a good primary parent. But she definitely desperately needed more money. She was living paycheck to paycheck and off of credit cards. She had no idea how she'd pay for Emma's college. She was taking it week by week and month by month and she could never plan for anything. 

Babies were the best, though. It would be nice to have another one. 

But Valentine's Day sucked. She was eating at some vegan place with Dina and Jonah. Jonah kept smiling at her. She was in love with him. She really was. Someday maybe she would have a baby with him.

On the way home, she had to borrow money from Jonah to fill the tank on her car. Adam texted her at one am that Parker seemed to have a fever and she could come pick him up because Adam had work in the morning. 

As she got up out of bed, Jonah said, "I love you."

She said, "I love you, too, J-bone."

Xxx

It galled her but she took the damn job as soon as Laurie offered it. She couldn't say no to the money, she just couldn't. She wanted it to be because she was the most qualified. That would have been nice. But she was still the manager. 

After Dina put up the picture and called her boss, Amy called Emma. She got to jump up and down and squeal a little. She was standing outside waving to Laurie and Jonah came up to her. He hugged her from behind and said, "Congratulations."

"Thank you," she said. "Wanna come with me when I pick up Parker from daycare?"

"Of course," Jonah said. "Are you taking Emma and me out to dinner?"

"When I get paid," Amy said. "When I get paid."

She told Parker she was a manager now. He seemed really proud. "And he's pooping," Jonah said. "Or he's really proud of you."

"Yeah," Amy said. She wanted to do another dance. She would definitely have enough money for Parker's daycare all year. She really liked the ladies there. Parker seemed happy. "You're happy, right?"

Parker smiled at her. She said, "I love you, too, Parker."

When Parker fell asleep, she pushed Jonah on to the bed. "Speaking of congratulations." She pulled off her shirt and unhooked her bra. "Wanna fuck your boss?"

"That's so hot," Jonah said. 

"I can tell you feel that way," she said, pushing down on his obvious erection. "You don't feel forced or anything, right?"

"Not at all," Jonah said. He was unbuttoning her pants and she helped him get them off her. She was in just her underwear and he was mostly dressed. 

He cupped her breasts and kissed her. Then he was kissing her neck and chin and her collarbone and his hands were so warm on her. She said, "You have got to get more naked."

"Yup, yup," he said. "But I don't want to stop touching you." He sat up and kissed her again. She pulled off his shirt and tugged at his pants. "Fine," he said. He got naked very quickly and took off her underwear. 

She said, "Condom time."

"My favorite time," he said, grinning. 

She loved being on top of him and the way his fingers dug into her hips. She still loved his sweaty face and the way he got so intent. 

"I love you," he said. 

"Samesies," she said, grunting a little. 

"God, I love the way you use your words," Jonah said. He made the stupidest noises when he came, she loved hearing him like that.

She'd bet he would say the same thing. She really loved sex with him. It was so nice. Then they were all gross and tangled together and she loved that. He moved her hair off her face. She sighed happily. 

Then she was making so much money. So much money. It sucked that everyone was such a dick about it, but it was so much money. She actually set up the daycare fees on autopay. She would have the money for that now. She called Emma and asked her what she wanted for her quinceanera. "We're gonna do it up, girl. DO IT UP." 

She picked up Parker at daycare and put him in his carseat. She could get an even better one now. She could buy him the pretty fancy diapers. She drove to the fancy baby clothes store and walked in with a little strut. "Want a suit? Should we get you a suit? I bet you'd look dashing in a suit."

Parker gurgled. He didn't care about a dashing suit at all and it was pretty ridiculous to buy him one. "But you need one for your sister's quinceanera. Oooh, let's get you one for that reason. Make it a little roomy."

She'd dressed him up in his suit by the time Jonah came by the house. He said, "Wow, did Parker get a job, too?"

"No, he got a sweet suit for his sister's quinceanera. He'll be the most handsome man there."

"Maybe I can be second most handsome," Jonah said. He took out his phone. "I know you've already taken pictures but I can take a few of you with the dapper baby on your lap."

"Do it," she said. "I can print it out and put it up at work. In my office." She grinned. 

She took Jonah and Emma out to dinner. She even let Emma practice drive the Lexus a little. In the parking lot. 

She upgraded her phone and got an unlimited data plan. Then she could use the daycare's remote viewing to check on Parker whenever she wanted. 

Jonah said, "My parents want me to come home for Passover. Which is right near Easter. I can go the day after Easter so I don't miss anything at work."

"Are you going to have to tour medical campuses?" Amy looked down at her phone and cued up Parker cam. It was basically her favorite thing to watch. He was actually doing some fun stuff at daycare. And the cam video stream was so clear on her phone. 

"How's Parker?" Jonah twisted around to look at the footage. 

"He's great. So do you have to tour a medical school?"

"I do," Jonah said. "But I'll do it and just think about everything I'm missing back here at Cloud 9."

"You could go to medical school," Amy said. 

"I don't want to," Jonah said. "I told you, I like it here."

"I told you, that's fucked up," Amy said. 

Then she ended up hearing people complain about her in the break room. She went to complain to Jonah. "How could they do that?"

"Again, what happens if there's a fire? Should I be the one who's concerned about that and not you or Dina?" Jonah stuck his hands in his pockets. She was not getting the response she wanted. 

She touched her phone in her pocket and pulled it out. Because she was addicted she immediately pulled up Parker cam. He was awake and smiling at something. She smiled down at his little face. "Oh my God," she said. "Did I tell you yesterday I saw Adam there? He works closer to the daycare and I guess he just came in for an hour or two to hang out and it was my night."

"That's sweet?" 

"It is sweet," Amy said. "But also, I wish I could do that. And I can't, you know. My job isn't three quarters time. I would spend all day with Parker if I could." She sighed. "But honestly, just for the first year. I don't think I could be a stay at home mom after he was one. Some women are cut out for that, but it's not me. Don't tell anyone."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Jonah said. "Listening in on employees, on the other hand."

"Whatever," Amy said. 

She kept getting distracted from the break room by looking at Parker. She actually missed the part when Cheyenne said she'd put something in Amy's coffee. Parker was having his formula and she was thinking about how little time she'd spent breastfeeding and maybe she should have gone longer. If she'd known she would get the manager job, she thought. Maybe she shouldn't have chosen daycare. But it worked for her and Adam. Some day Adam would be working full time. Neither of them could afford to be home with Parker. It sucked. Parker blinked and his little cheeks puffed up. 

She silently appreciated that both Parker and Emma looked like they were Latinx even though they had such white names. Dubanowski was not an easy last name for anyone. 

Dina nudged Amy. "You know Cheyenne just said three times that she put ecstasy in your coffee." 

"The fuck?"

"I don't think she did it. She keeps saying it and looking around, she knows you're listening in on their conversations," Dina said, frowning. "This is your fault. You went and spoiled it."

"Well, it's a grey area really does mean it's basically illegal. And Jonah's right, we should have a working smoke detector in the break room. It's the most likely place for a fire."

"Fine," Dina said. "I'll call Glenn's guy to replace everything. I'll do it tomorrow."

Amy grinned. "Think how mystifying it'll be for Cheyenne and everyone else when I don't react to her stupid threat. Am I listening in? Or am I not?"

"They'll just assume you know you've been caught," Dina said. "Don't get too excited."

"Fine," Amy said. "I won't." She thought about taking a break and driving to daycare. Maybe she'd pick up Emma from school to spend an hour with her. 

Or she'd stay at work and figure out the schedules and all of corporate's new rules and regulations. She decided to split the difference. She called Emma and forced her to FaceTime with her. 

It was a weird day, she and Jonah weren't really on the same schedule so it was literally just her in the house. She organized Parker's clothes. He'd already outgrown some and a lot of his clothes from when he was first born were hand me downs or secondhand to begin with so she mostly threw them out. She straightened everything in the room, lined it all up nice. She made a note of things she needed to buy like more diapers and some baby wipes and the endless list of baby supplies. Maybe she'd buy some for Adam, too.

She sat on the couch and fidgeted. She couldn't remember her last night alone. And she'd have a few more coming up. It was weird. She didn't have to work on her budget. She looked at the time on the TV. She went upstairs and got in her bed. She called Adam and facetimed with Parker. And Emma. Then she ended the call before they thought she was a clingy freak. 

She played her video game for an hour or so. Then she was just on her bed, looking around. She heard a sound downstairs and sat up straight. It was probably nothing. She went downstairs gingerly but of course, it was nothing. She hated being alone. 

She checked all the locks and turned off lights. She went back upstairs and got on her phone. She called Jonah. "Hi, hi."

"Are you lonesome tonight?" He laughed a little. 

"I actually am. No one's home," she said. "You could come over."

"I am not coming over," he said. "I have to fly out early in the morning, we can both live having a night apart."

"I don't think I can," she said. "Some people like being alone, right? I'm not a freak like that."

"Nicely put," Jonah said. "You can do it, Amy. I have faith in you."

"Fine, but never again. When you get home from being forced to tour medical schools, you could, if you want, move in." She'd been thinking about asking him for ages. 

"Wow, to help you stave off loneliness? I'm flattered," Jonah said. 

"Also because I love you," Amy said. "That's part of it. Do you secretly hate my kids?"

"I like your kids fine," Jonah said. "Do they like me?"

"Parker likes you," Amy said.

"Parker's a baby, he likes everyone," Jonah said.

Amy smiled. "He's so great."

"He is great," Jonah said. "I think Emma likes me."

"She does," Amy said. "But more importantly, I love you. I really like sleeping next to you and having you around."

"If you make it through the next few days and you still think I should move in, then we can talk about it," Jonah said. 

"Fine," Amy said. "Sure."

"I love you, too, sweetheart," he said. 

She had Parker every other day and so she wasn't totally alone but she was still alone more than she liked. She hated being alone. She'd only had to do it a little after the divorce but it was awful. She wasn't cut out for it. She liked being with people, specifically her people. Her Jonah, she thought, and giggled a little. 

She picked Jonah up at the airport. "Hi, hi," she said. She hugged him by the baggage carousel. He smelled like airport and also his weird natural deodorant. "I definitely missed you."

"I missed you, too." He even lifted her up a little. 

She thought, you should move in with me. She said, "Come home."

"You mean, our home?"

"I do," she said. "Bring over your stuff. Not that awful end table. But everything else."

"It's a deal," Jonah said. 

She disengaged. "So are you applying to medical school?"

"God, no," Jonah said. "They've given up on that. Now they think I should be a teacher."

"Oh," Amy said. "That you might actually be suited for. That's a tough one to talk you out of."

"I'm only committed to you," Jonah said. 

Xxx

Amy assigned Jonah to Parker duties at the quinceanera. "He looks so cute in his suuuuuuuuit," she said. She rearranged her boobs in her bra and smoothed down her dress. "I look good, too."

"You look amazing," Jonah said. He held Parker close. "Absolutely amazing."

"I agree," Amy said. "I look awesome."

"And hot," Jonah said. 

While she dealt with everything and tried to make sure Emma had a perfect night like she deserved, she could just look over and find Parker and Jonah. Parker fell asleep pretty quick so she'd have to specifically duck into the outer room where a little bed was set up. 

Jonah said, "Are you just trying to ditch me so I don't do anything embarrassing? I would understand if you were doing that."

"You do have a pattern at social gatherings," Amy said. "But, no, mostly I just didn't want to worry about Parker and I thought it was like, a role? A thing you could do that honors your place in the family."

"My place is watching the baby? Okay, I get it," Jonah said. "An important place, but could be replaced if needed."

"I'm not planning to replace you," Amy said. "You're not replaceable to me."

"I know," he said. He rubbed Parker's hand which was something Parker loved. He definitely loved it when Amy did it. Probably Jonah had seen her do it. Maybe he'd done it first and Amy had copied him. Maybe none of that mattered. 

"You get anxiety before parties. You do things like decide to get ice for everyone," Amy said.

"I'd never been to a funeral before, besides that one for Brett," Jonah said. "I didn't want all your relatives to have lukewarm drinks."

"You were very anxious," Amy said.

"I'm completely unfamiliar with Christian funerals, except what I've seen on TV," Jonah said. 

"And you've never been to a quinceanera before, either," Amy said. "Isn't the best way to experience it? You like being needed and you're good at taking care of Parker."

"All for the best," Jonah said, smiling. "You still look super hot."

"Thank you," she said. She dipped a little and pulled down her dress to flash him which was just when Adam and his mom came by so that worked out perfectly. At least she was wearing a pretty bra. One of her new ones. She'd really splurged on great lingerie since she had a very appreciative boyfriend to appreciate it. And she was feeling herself.

Adam's mom frowned and said, in her usual strained voice, "Did you slip, Amy?"

"Nope," Amy said. "We're all good."

xxx

Amy idly browsed the web so she didn't have to think about the latest from corporate. She looked up the requirements to be a teacher. Jonah would need a Master's. His parents would pay for it, she thought. Maybe she should be encouraging him to do it. 

Naturally, Jeff was messaging her again. He said, "They're talking about converting one of the stores in your district to a warehouse."

"Oh, God," Amy said. She grabbed Dina and they drove all the way up to Chicago. 

She kept checking her Parker cam. She called Jonah and said, "Can you pick up Parker? You're on the list. I'll be home by morning, one way or the other."

"Or Adam could do it," Jonah said. 

"Sure," Amy said, sighing. "Call Adam. He is the other parent."

"Some might even say Parker's father," Jonah said. "I know you like having Parker here every single minute but this feels like a case where maybe you let Adam have some time with him."

"Sure," Amy said. "But it's like, when Parker's not there, it feels like the house is haunted by his absence. Which sounds hokey, I know."

"It sounds very hokey," Dina said. "You know that's not how ghosts work, right?"

"I'm not saying Parker is haunting me, I'm saying when Parker is with me, I feel safe, I know he's safe, when he's not with me, I just wonder what he's doing and if he's okay," Amy said. She thought maybe her voice broke. At least it was Dina and Jonah. 

"That's pathetic," Dina said. 

"I think it's sweet," Jonah said. 

"Thank you both," Amy said.

Thankfully, Amy being there meant she could make Laurie say it should be Bel Ridge that got turned into a warehouse. Then Amy sat in the lobby while Dina got laid. 

"And despite all that, they keep asking me to cut hours and I say, hey, we already saved all that money correcting Marcus's pay rate. And if we cut more hours, we can't keep the store running and not looking like a disaster area." She looked over at Jonah who was listening to one of his podcasts with one earpod. "Maybe you should be a teacher. How much longer will retail last? I mean, I can sock away some money for the last years we have left. And you can get a real job."

"You're not catastrophizing at all," Jonah said. "You've probably got more than three years left to be a manager and make tons of money. Can I at least take a year and work at the job I like before I'm apparently the sole wage earner? Is that what you're thinking?"

"You wouldn't be the sole wage earner, but when they close Cloud 9, I'll probably have to go back to school if I can't find a job," Amy said. "We can't live off my savings, not with all the bills from Parker and Emma in college and by then we'll have a kid and that's a bunch of bills, too --"

"By then we'll --" He even took out his other earpod.

"And it will be expensive," Amy said. She kept saying everything in her head. She frowned. "Babies are expensive."

"You're planning to have kids with me?" Jonah wasn't blinking. He had weirdly big eyes. 

"Not if you don't want to, are you - are you upset by us having a kid?"

"Not upset, not upset. Just, um, we haven't talked about it," Jonah said. He reached out and pushed her hair behind her ear. It still gave her goosebumps when he touched her. It was so irritating. 

"Sure, we haven't talked about it. But you know, yes, I would like to have another child. And with you, obviously. But we would plan it."

"Yeah, totally," Jonah said. "How old do you, do you, you know what. What time do you think that plan happens? We should have a talk beforehand, too, about religion and planning."

"Religion? Oh, right, well, sure we can raise the kid Jewish. Not super religious Jewish, but I'm okay with the basic level of Jewishness. You know, Hanukkah, Passover, Bar Mitzvah."

"We really need to talk about your conception of Judaism. But we have time, right? The store's still open and you're making all this money still. We have time," Jonah said. He leaned in for the kiss and she kissed him right back. He was basically the best kisser she'd ever kissed and that was a much longer list than people she'd had sex with. 

"We have time," Amy said. She said, "But you really should look at those Master's programs. I'll send you a list. If you don't look at the list, I'll send it to your mom."

"Now I think you hate me," Jonah said. "But I'll look at the list. Also, what do you think of the name Ira?"

"I'm not naming my child Ira Glass Simms," Amy said. She reached past him and turned off the light on his side of the bed. "Ira is an awful name."

"I wasn't thinking of Ira Glass, I was thinking about my PopPop's father. But I guess we're going to bed now."

"Yeah, but we don't have to sleep," she said. She turned off the light on her side. "We can have sex."

"I got that," he said. "You're so sexy."


End file.
